Middle of day one update

Well its 12:30 and still doing great on my fast. However, today I am extremely hungry. Maybe I just need to down a couple glasses of water to fill me up.  Right now I'm on my lunch hour from work and I'm just sitting in my car writting this blog on my phone.  I was looking at some other pro-ana and fasting sites earlier.  I know I'm definitely not anorexic. I'm too fat to be anorexic and I'm not that strong willed.  However I do believe I do have some sort of eating disorder. I can neither be in the healthy median when it come to eating...I'm either fasting and starving myself or binging like crazy.  Why can't I just be normal? I hope today is better than yesterday afterwork. I'm going to try to get my husband to go with me to the gym tonight.  I'm just going to do a lot of cardio until I can't stand anymore then go swim for a while then the sauna. Surely to god I will lose a couple pounds today if I do that.  I really need some support when I'm fasting...it seems like I start looking forward to be able to blog something just so I can get all of this out of my head. I will try to post another blog tonight but not for sure if I will be able to since I will be with my husband all evening and night...don't really want him to know what's up with me right now.